Extra Rice

Ito ang text ng kontrobersiyal na secret meeting ni US president George Bush at National Security Adviser Condoleeza Rice. Click player sa kanan to hear the recorded conversation.

Secretary:
Mr. President, Condoleeza Rice is here to see you.

George B.:
Good, send her in.

Secretary:
Yessir.


(Hangs up. Condi enters.)


Condoleeza R.:
Good morning, Mr. President.

George B.:
Oh Condoleeza, nice to see you. What's happening?

Condoleeza R.:
Well, Mr. President, I have the report here about the new leader in China.

George B.:
Great, Condi. Lay it on me.

Condoleeza R.:
Mr. President, Hu is the new leader of China.

George B.:
Well, that's what I want to know.

Condoleeza R.:
But that's what I'm telling you, Mr. President.

George B.:
Well, that's what I'm asking you, Condie. Who is the new leader of China?

Condoleeza R.:
Yes.

George B.:
I mean the fellow's name.

Condoleeza R.:
Hu.

George B.:
The guy in China.

Condoleeza R.:
Hu.

George B.:
The new leader of China.

Condoleeza R.:
Hu.

George B.:
The Chinaman!

Condoleeza R.:
Hu is leading China, Mr. President.

George B.:
Whaddya' asking me for?

Condoleeza R.:
I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George B.:
Well, I'm asking you, Condie. Who is leading China?

Condoleeza R.:
That's the man's name.

George B.:
That's who's name?

Condoleeza R.:
Yes.


(Pause.)


George B.:
Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condoleeza R.:
Yes, sir.

George B.:
Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.

Condoleeza R.:
That's correct, sir.

George B.:
Then who is in China?

Condoleeza R.:
Yes, sir.

George B.:
Yassir is in China?

Condoleeza R.:
No, sir.

George B.:
Then who is?

Condoleeza R.:
Yes, sir.

George B.:
Yassir?

Condoleeza R.:
No, sir.


(Pause. Crumples paper.)


George B.:
Condi, you're starting to piss me off now, and it's not 'cause you're black neither. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. So why don't you get me the Secretary General of the United Nations on the phone.

Condoleeza R.:
Kofi Annan?

George B.:
No, thanks. And Condi, call me George. Stop with that ebonics crap.

Condoleeza R.:
You want Kofi?

George B.:
No.

Condoleeza R.:
You don't want Kofi.

George B.:
No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.

Condoleeza R.:
Yes, sir.

George B.:
Not Yassir! The guy at the United Nations.

Condoleeza R.:
Kofi?

George B.:
Milk! Will you please make that call?

Condoleeza R.:
And call who?

George B.:
Well, who is the guy at the U.N?

Condoleeza R.:
No, Hu is the guy in China.

George B.:
Will you stay out of China?!

Condoleeza R.:
Yes, sir.

George B.:
And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condoleeza R.:
Kofi.

George B.:
All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.


(Condi picks up the phone.)


Condoleeza R.:
Hello. Rice, here.

George B.:
Rice? Good idea. And get a couple of egg rolls, too, Condi. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.


(Condi hangs up violently.)


George B.:
Can you get chinese food in the Middle East?


(Condi opens the door.)


George B.:
I don't know.


(Condi slams the door. Fanfare.)

( Submitted by Abby )